I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
