Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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