i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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