I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
hell yes lets make some ravioli
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
