so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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