More tranny stories later!
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
how can u be prego again
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
