If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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