handjob tips. give me some.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
