i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
