Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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