You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
