At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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