Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
