Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
