Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I pour the whiskey from now on
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