dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
