Your mouth is God's brothel.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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