dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
