before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
