who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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