I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
