so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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