i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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