Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I currently don't understand fingers.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
