Just fell off a train. Bad.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
did you just send me my own nude
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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