What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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