Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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