we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
