cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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