girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
