I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
