she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
