last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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