she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
