Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
