God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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