What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My ass is underappreciated
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
