Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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