if i died would you start the facebook group?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
