thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
