I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Hippo gnu deer
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
