he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I just googled if crying burns calories
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
