I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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