Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
