I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
operation have a gay friend backfired
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
