Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Randomize
