Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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