hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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