Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
