i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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